Sunday, August 29, 2010
I admit that I am full of flaws.
I admit that it was you, who despite of your young age, guided me back on track.
It was because of you that I came back to my family and my friends.
It was you who were there listening to me as I pour out my thoughts and feelings.
It was you whom I leaned my head on as I cried thinking of the pathetic state I was in.
It was with you that I spent my lonely days with.
And for all that, I thank you.
I admit that I fell for you because of your maturity.
I felt safe and secured having you by my side.
But we've made it clear that it was impossible for both of us.
We came to a conclusion that as and when I needed you,
you will be there for me and my whole trunk of emotional baggage.
And because of that too, I believe, you think that I owe you big time.
You felt superior to me.
"...Aku baru 19 tahun tapi kau, 27 tahun, dengar cakap aku..." may be what you were thinking.
You felt that I was at your beck and call.
For the record, I purposely lowered myself to that extent.
Never did I realise how much of a hypocrite you were until now.
I was warned but I unheaded the advice.
Perhaps it was my bad fortune everytime to go through every shit once before learning my mistake.
You claimed not to be like your friend whom we both knew.
In fact, you were worst.
Luckily, fate has it that you only had the few chances you had, to scrap me off my money.
You've brainwashed me, and others too, regarding you ex.
I pity your ex becuase your ex has to put up will all the shit.
You've succeeded in making people hate your ex.
My heart goes to you, EX.
But your ex is one strong person who pushed everything aside and moved on.
While you did not.
I met your ex and we told each other what needed to be told.
It all started because I wanted to know how you were doing.
Although I was angry with you months back because of your reply when I looked you up,
I still care.
I ended up being more furious.
I remember warning and telling you regarding certain things.
You obviously did not listen.
I questioned myself why.
Looking back, you did the same to me and I believe you did the same to whoever it may concern.
WHOM happened to be my arch-enemy.
How much more remarkable can things be...
if you think that I am inferior as compared to you,
you are very wrong dear.
And I don't need to prove it to you.
Time will tell.
You've got nothing.
You are just a shadow of everything and everyone else.
However, beneath all that, I miss you.
And I do want to carry on befriending you.
Possible or not, I leave it to Allah Almighty.
What really pissed me off right now is that, I can't believe you would stoop so low
just for a watch and jacket.
If I continue typing any longer, I will just burst and names will appear.